giving?

 what is the true meaning of giving it all?
like finishing a marathon when you are your limit and kept running?
or fighting in ring still throw a punch or two when you are gassed out?
i dont even know anymore. people feels lost once a while
and recent were the worst for me.
i dont even know what am i doing anymore.
i starting to hate my work my job, i used to have good direction of what to do
now im fucking lost.
what the fuck am i doing? what the fuck is the company doing? seriously not a clue.
i dont think im the person that always gives it all, i slack when i train, i dont punch as hard, try to cut corner.
i slack too during works, dont even know if i did get things right.
yes got another promotion, but circumstantial. wasnt if another manager left i probably gonna take some times.
but fuck. what the fuck am i doing.

When you just trying to build and hold down what had been built, yet it just keep crumbling.
and no good direction from management, walking blindly thru forest full of traps.
not that i want to rant, but seriously, the good direction that was built just went to drain.
i dont even know anymore... feels like just want to quit and leave everything behind.
if i could just be heartless enough to have zero care for the team.
if i just could.