lying on bed

with pillow covering the head

then ?

crying out loud ...

best way ..

for man , boy

hold it so hard for what

fact . is always kill people's dream

and of cause

my dream ...

crying in heart

without tear drop on eye

bleeding

deep scar

sometimes

i just need an explanation

reasons ...

no matter it is fake or real

truth or lie

at least just tell me

trusted on you

trusted on myself

but trust just feel like gone out now

i not even trust myself anymore

now just like retarded ...

only bad thought running in my head

and i already scare what will happen next

try to avoid ... escape ... running ...

what to do ... ... what to do

21 -Dec 2010

Probably good day?

ehhh ...

of cz ??

just hang out with friends

its a good start after all

start with i doing a spotlight

a bright 1 ... 40k volt !

shine like a star

accompany a friend and his girl friend(2pair)

just feel like i am unnecessary

oh well ... what lucky is sudden another 1 had join in

so make me spare 20k volt to him ...

i am not so bright anymore ...

okay skip until the movie i had watched

oh well ... for me .. nt really nice

or maybe i doesnt like a movie like that

cz ... the story is no point man ...

it should be a point even it is a funny movie

okay done wif the movie

after the movie

at pavillion watch the snow ...

1st time i see it ...

its pretty and nice

of cz its not a real snow ...

what a good memory actually

good movement

with right" people

and i...

and i thought

i found my romance and....at there ...

sigh .. what a joke ?

no never be true

and all bad emotion just came after i go back from there

mixed up in a single fucking day

maybe i just too much

or i take too care?

and cry for what?

fool

PS !!

just wondering how the HELL

i doesn't update my blog

oh well by the way

spm is very damn

T-minus 8 days and 23.30 hours

few abit scare anyway

after that i am " adult "

=T

being child is always better

okay however that doesnt work

just get used to it =D aha

anyway just have a movie with guys and sakai mcb

lol ...

have a bunch of fun

this is just what i have to say

next time guys

dream ...

like exists ...

but not real .

dream

we couldn't touch and

we couldn't reach

reality ...

breaking our heart

crash it to pieces

real

make us want to escape

make us want lost

thats why i feel

living in dream just much better

than facing the reality

but dream isnt real ..

you and i was close

i was the one understand you

i was the one like you

i was the one know you deep

but that not gona do anything to you now

time passing

i was being forgetting

forsaking ... by you

reality just forcing me to run to end of the alley

walk right into sadness

right into bleeding

looking at some old picture ,

reminding me

some kind of memory

that i should had it forgot

but no ...

i am not a machine , computer

i can't erase memory or reprogram

i am myself

but anyway what past should let it past

what history should remain as history

isn't that hard ehh ?

every bitter memory will have some sweet one

at least still not fully bitter ... at least ...

every drop of tears will have some smile

crying not just only for sadness

it not a curse

its more like luxury

letting us learn from every of tears

learn from crying is some sort of ...

how to say huh ?

aha , whatever

when you are crying

will anyone rub away your tears?

will anyone borrow their shoulder for you

if have , this friend should never let go

best in best i could say

aha ... good

well ... not is trial for spm

spm coming right after corner

how ?

bad is it ?

yes ...

thinking going buy a house from living myself

than freedom will be mine

but freedom aint free ...

money is most problem

so just think another step should put my feet

on which site

look what i found for 1 damn funny song ...

watch it XD

it just below this post

Cee Lo Green - FUCK YOU (Official Video)

sometimes i feel living in a dream

just better than facing the real world

reality just broke people's heart

or

i just dont exists in this world

that's all loose end .

and this fcking weather just making

me moody

i most hate afternoon

its hot ...

this is what mankind have done

pollution

some people think that

reduce the population of human race

will reduce the pollution speed

yes i think yes ...

some just put some nukes or boom

will make the world better?

or just some biological weapon ?

ohh but i not mean want like resident evil

i mean those biological weapons will kill people

immediately , painless

thats will much more better than nuke ehh?

sometimes it worth to do ,

perhaps?

harder ?

just trying to break the glass

changing to a better life

but its seem much harder then i thought ...

Spm is coming ...

i going to revision now

bye

clean =D

Actually i just cant believe i

clean up my room just now ...

by using 2 hours

well ...

of cause it's dirty ...

aha ... those book had cover by

thick dust ...

like forsaken bible ahahaha

"book of eli "

just kidding

just took a bath

weather is too hot

maybe tonight i will have a good sleep

And ... i duno why .. i can do this today

i throw alot of thing

a lot ...

those thing that i ...

never willing to throw ...

that i keep few years ...

well but .. i just throw most of them

but ... some of it .

is a ver good memory

actually i wish i can throw it all

just pretend that everything is okay

i will never miss it

never miss the old time

but i cant .

or even those msg ,

i just hope i can delete it =D

anyway .. i keep it for a year

can i press on the delete button ?

i dont have this courage

And i feel i can someday

somehow ...

i feel i am changing

Slightly ...

今天
去ts看戏 The Last Airbender ...
还好... 都是pc effect


哈哈 但是今天
有两场爆笑场面
同时发生！！！
笑到我肚子痛！！
就是 阿城去玩射球时
他的蓝给那些球赛住jor
3 粒塞着
最衰没有照片
要不然你就知道怎样好笑

第二是ahboy
他这件更好笑
我笑足了整日
他拿起一粒球!
他打算把塞着蓝那些球打散
怎知道
他用力一扔！
那个球弹回来中回他的头。。。
如果你在现场
你会笑到溃掉...



Laugh doesnt mean i am happy ...
my heart is rotten inside
i done the terrible mistake again
i not deserve have another chance =D

How the hell long
i dint touch my blog ehh?

whats wrong with these day ?

I feel lost ...

Confuse ...

i wont laugh when i watch some funny video
clips

and just pretending in front of people that i am okay

smiling ... pretending that is my skill .. ehh?

everything like turn against me , love , thing , school , fren everthing

even when i looking at my phone

i feel it like saying .. COME one no body gona sms you .. put me down mo**** F*****

crap !... and i cant sleep well too

COME ON PEOPLES
GIVE ME CHANCE DUN GIVE ME HOPE !!!!!

Time + time = time square
LOL = =
oh well that just some crap
forget about it

Now is raining whoa ><
my lovely raining day ..
Cold and wet
i hate dry weather .
some more hot one .


different day , but doing the same thing ...
this is the rule of mankind ... mostly
repeat repeat and repeat ..
we could have different 1 ...
but ... for 1st we need money ...
MONEY this thing had kill many people ..
kill our time ...
but there is no way to solve it =D
DIE for money ... thats what we said =X

WHAT the hell you will do when your mood is toTALly FU**ED UP?
option 1 - let it be ...
option 2 - find something to kill
option 3 - go take a bath and kiss on your own hand (what ??)
option 4 - smash your head on pillow ( -_- ..)
option 5 - sawing your pencil by using a chainsaw (is that necessary ?)
option 6 - try suicide by using tissues (speechless ..)
option 7 - hang urself by using a string (you will never
Option 8 - think yourself

微笑不代表我开心，

流泪不一定是难过，

牵手可以是个理由，

拥抱也未必是相爱，

离开也可能还深爱，

人就是这么奇怪的动物，

同一样的表情，

同一样的文字，

却有着那么多不同的意思，

从前我们笑就是笑，

我们哭就是哭，

就是那么的简单，

那么的单纯，

可渐渐地，

我们的笑不再是笑了

笑的时候我们不一定开心，

哭得时候也不表示我们一定是难过的，

自己开始觉得自己很虚伪，

我们开始讨厌这样的自己，

但在他面前却又不能完全活出自我，

深怕他误会我们心中所想的，

明明不喜欢他和别人出门，

却老笑着说“玩得开心点”

明明就很讨厌孤单一个人，

却总是对他说“我一个人没事的”

其实有很多时候都好想对他说出心底话，

但总怕他觉得自己不为他着想，

总觉得这样对两个人都好，

只好永远地伪装自己了，

心底总希望他在哪一天会明白你心中的想法，

但是...

他永远都不明白微笑的意思，

他永远都不明白分手的意思...


人们总把不该当真的事情看得太认真了，

却把该认真的事情不当作一回事...

等到明白一切时，

已经人去楼空，

一切不复存在了....

question marks ??

what will you do when you are ..
upset , angry , filled with vengeance ?
punch your fist at the wall ?
or smash the watermelon using your karate skill ?
(you are gonna waste a watermelon ... )
or burn someone's picture?
(maybe you will burn your house too)
try to attack him with your penis ? ( opss)
(ouchhh !! )

all those people that will do the thing above
is a STUPID ...
yea you didn't see wrong ... is stupid this word
lucky that i didn't plus a rude word in front of it

Someone wiser !!
they will push their enemy into trench
or
pull the trigger and put a hole in their enemy's face
or
they can even burn their enemy's house

well ... above these
they are not stupid because they have plan
we cannot call them stupid .. but we call them
retarded ! retard ... or dumb ass

But someone smarter !
they will try it in other way
not to hurt himself or others
that is play some freaking killing 1st person shooting game
or ply dota with WTF mode killing AI easy
For cooling themselves down ~

above these
they actually are good
but ... it will make them having psychological or mental problem

and the last 1
they are not smart , not wise , not stupid
but " brainless "
you may interest what will they do ?
they will forgive each other ...
those as i refer to " brainless"
actually is real gentleman ,
because a forgiveness is come from a real ,
real gentleman's heart ~

i could not say i am the brainless one
because i doesnt having true forgiveness heart
i am lack of it ...
but at least i can be the stupid or smarter 1 ...
which 1 you will be?

Vanx...
The very upset day !

i not really feel fun by insulting each other

value of friend i found this week ?
zero ! ...
i dun really talk much about this
whatever they wan say whatever they wanted to insult
whatever they like
i dun care from now ..
go ahead ~

sneeze and sneeze and sneeze ...
hlp me ... i am sick
arhhh !!!
for god sake ...

as i always said ...
same shit different day ...
well nothing change ... as normal go to sch back frm sch
slp , eat ,slp and eat

well
actually i am always confuse about ... friend ...
this word ..

i always try to figure out
the value
the meaning
of friend ...

but .. everyday the answer i found
just not the same ...
what the value then ?
always changing ..
just depend how u see' em ..

everyday the value and ans i found
will never be same ...
nt even 1 time
well ... i repeated again ...
only depend how u see'em

at last ... i say to u all
treat life with smile ..
u will see a better world =D

when all the thing like turn against you ... what will you do ?

when all the thing like turn against you ... what will you do ??

昨天8个朋友去喝茶然后
C c 打机
很少像这样那么多人了
以前很热闹的
现在做工的做工...
做废材的作废材
唉..
突然感触阿
aha ...

然后昨天最让我难忘的是！！
阿shen 载我们回
阿哈哈
驾到很好笑的
够力！
他哥哥说走路都舒服过坐这辆车
哈哈哈哈 因为很震的
过勃的时候很快的
然后要parking 的时候还撞到人家的车
哈哈哈 但是少少罢了 nvm 拉 hor？
然后shen 就大喊“下去推车咯”
他哥哥跟阿文就下去推了
过后推好了阿文还要站在车前
阿胜没理 直头踏油
差点撞到 阿文怕到站上车头去
哈哈
然后下车 有人就说
“做么你甘差的，酱都撞不到阿文”
当然是搞笑的


开学lurx
几快啊
什么都没做！
怎么办

NEWS

bad news and good news
bad news is 23 more hours !
then open school again ... crap
another bad news is ...
SPM is closer ..oh crap ><
i never prepare anything
need to start 100 % focus already

GOOd news is ...
my eldest brother's wife just born a
giRl baby >< whoa !! ...
i become uncle ald !!! OMG ><
old jor old jor hahas

i barely can walk
when i wake up today
i almost smash my head on my table
because my leg muscle crank
lol
>< painful ...
And my knee injured gao gao ...
because last friday go roller
FALL down and "smash" my knee on the ground
that time i pain until i dun wan to stand up ...
just hold my knee and lying at there
lol
then when walk need people to carry me
sob ...

ehh ... actually i wont fall de lar
=_= ...
hahas ..cz some1 pull me from behind ><
but nvm nvm =X

Parasite？

Many people sick
these day
maybe just because
change of the weather
so suddenly
not a big deal ...
well .. just like everybody say
take care yourself
ver good care i mean
because not always having people
around to take care you
even parent they not always here
not always ...

school holiday started ...
day in hell is start
boring + brankup ...
no $ can go where ?
lol xD

1 conclusion is ...
i never feel happy at all
and i dunno since when
i dunno why ..
such a crap ...
many crap happened ...
see some faces make me pain in my
heart
broken
thinking something make me feel
my whole life like undone
bah ... Let it be thn

Friends

An enemy will show his blade
before he stab you
But
a friend will stab you from behind
without showing his blade

meaningful ? *sigh*

Marriage is a three ring circus:
engagement ring
wedding ring
and suffering....

HAHA
nice??
i found this thing on some web
is this marriage will be xD
who knws ?

@@ SO EARLY ?

我没想过今天会将早醒wor
11点？ 都算早？
对我说是咯
哈哈哈
因为昨天我3点才睡==
本应该 一两点才醒的
但是10点半 就给雪丽的
华语版 nobody 的msg 吵醒
zzz ...
aikz ...
@@
all gambateh exam nerh

UNBELIEVABLE

y ??? y?
myself aso cannot expect
i will go SCHOOL TODAY
OMG ...
i go school for gotong- royong
who will believe? oHH!!
wahaha ...
today ...
ur guys go for block B
girl and boy toilet we re paint it
i am the one of painting those wall ...
walao ... those girl's toilet wall damn many
people wrote thing on it ...
i duno why ... LOL ... some how i saw
some ppl's name that knw
elww...
after paint it ... and have to wash toilets floor
because of paint　drop on the floor
have to brush it ... and wash it ... LOL
u all should go look ... but dun make it dirty arh
if not ... sai sam gei .. XD haha
but girl's toilet i dint paint .. i just help to wash it ..
but half of the boy's toilet i paint ...
ehehe
ver nice experience today ...

矛盾

矛盾大家都知道什么意思
但是知道这两个字怎么来的吗？
就是以前有个人卖兵器的
他就说他的矛可以刺穿任何盾
还有他的盾可以抵挡任何刀枪
然后有人就问他 如果你的矛刺你的盾会怎样呢？
他就无言了

知道故事了吧？
然后刚才我作moral 的东西时
也发觉了一个很矛盾的东西

你们都有读nilai 吧？
我发觉这两个nilai 很矛盾
有一个就是harga diri （自爱）
还有就是mempertahankan negara （保卫国家）
如果保卫国家就会死人阿
自爱就是爱护自己啊 不要受伤
爱护生命
zz -，- 不觉得很矛盾吗？

MOTHER'S DAY

owh ... may 09 =D
happy mother's day ...
says to all mother ...

not very interesting day
but full of Family "smell"
ehehe ...eldest brother was come back for
a dinner with us ... with mom ... and
come together wit his wife ...
well ... she going to birth .. she is going to be mother too
hope god bless the baby birth well and grow healthy

I LOVE YOU MUM ...

Treasure and Value those people still along with us . Things Always change

this song ...
i just wan to show the mv ...
things always change ...
value highly what we have now

有没有试过跟自己说话？
我每天都会...
无论是说出口的还是心想...
我都会 我通常都是心想没人才会说
但是自己都不知道几时开始
但都成了习惯...
因为跟自己说话至少是给我自己的寄托
总有一个人可以聆听
给我我自己想要的答案...
不会顶回我
哈哈哈哈 你们还是觉得我有精神病？
我有时还会幻想下
我有一个很好的未来
... ~~ fuiiyohh ...
几爽 但是回到现实
往往让自己失望
但是怎样都好 都得继续

啊啊 还有
每个人都有发梦吧？
我时过几次发过未来
但是景象只有几秒
醒来却忘记发了什么梦
到了那个时候
eii 才会想 怎么现在好像很熟悉
哦 才会想回 我梦过
但是有时却掉反
就好像我上个生日 ( 我说的是真的 )
前一天我发梦真的跟我想要的一样
我醒来几开心啊
但是。。。 却掉得很翻...
完全是180 度
那天真的broke my heart

__________________________


你们有想过你们的亲人会离你们而去？
我正在担心着
我爸病严重了
他自己说不kam 摆了
肝硬化了
还说过不了这年
他说的时候 很想回答他
你不好死住阿 至少给我让你好好享几年福sin
但是这些东西我说不出口。。。
然后只能回房

我每吞一口口水
就好像受罪酱
因为喉咙附近生了粒@@
不懂怎样说啦
但是你们应该知道...
吃硬东西更beh tahan ...
刮着过...
而且最近一直好像要发烧haizz
身子弱...
又没人煲d汤水给我喝
~_~ XD hahah

还有那天弄到整身痛
但现在都还没散
你老鼠阿 ...
希望还有得向那样多一次
很爽的lerh 虽然很辛苦下
娃hahaha

a day i had ...

今天我觉得过得还蛮充实的

今天因为padang 那边有kadet polis kawat
所以某些pbsm 的就过去帮手
当然去阿又不用上课嘛
哈哈偷懒 还可以有sijil 拿 而且buku koko 又加一次
快满18次lurx

过去waaallaaaooo ..
我们28 个
他们有400 多个
看到的时候都觉得有些辛苦
之后
一有人昏倒的时候
就一直没停过手
有些就昏昏deii
cincai 给她做些
脱鞋开妞子就算了
waaa 最糟糕的是
用担子抬那些走路都走不到的人
够力
第一次我抬的时候
那个人很有重量
而且4 个人抬罢了
我还要用左手
我差点就想放手了
到了的时候 放下时真的忍不住了
快快放 pang 一声 然后给人骂
不想的嘛 是我旁边的先丢的=。=
为了不要给她翻就要快点landing xD
所以才这样的lerh
放手了
我好像失去我左手的知觉
LOL ...
那些人
真实的 知道自己会晕 就不要来啦
zzz
抬人最辛苦了
我都抬了7 ， 8 趟
手都痛 然后我beh tahan 了
cincai 走来走去 有人晕倒扶一下算了
不想去抬担架
waaa 最不爽就是抬到肥婆
紧张到
那个ketua 搞笑
他说 " ini tak boleh terlalu gemuk ... perlu 6 orang "
本来4 个抬一个 这个就要6 个
还有。。。 本来有两个担架
然后有一个抬人抬到坏掉了
整枝螺丝都断掉了。。。 很粗的了
0.5 cm radius ... 都可以断掉
真的炸到
....
还有我整身出汗湿到差不多可以滴水
我都beh tahan
哈哈哈 还好没一个pbsm 的人给人家抬回去
要不然就fish sei
救人家救到自己给人抬回去
lol ...
还好10 点他们就散了
要不然晕倒的是我们
最搞笑的是他们给我们的饭
nasi lemak 那个蛋！！！
还没有模壳
要自己来
然后那些人就说
cikgu saye nk complain ... telur ni ...
LOL
...

thats all for this event ...


vanxchew~...

OLD TIME

PEOPLE said man changing thing
not really ...
but time change everything
i hope i am not the one that get change from time
but i am ...

Friends , family , relation ship ...
or even those thing i had or i have ...
is changing

How can i maintains these thing ??

Best friend before ...
Enemy right now ...
Confidant before ...
stranger right now ...

i can't really understand
This kind of " recycle "
bad to good . good to bad ...
actually is only good to bad , bad to worst ..

ALL i have i before
now are gone ...
looking back in memories ...
i find out ...
the happy i had,
vanquished
and friends this word
is start fading from my dictionary
betrayed , traitor .

i always like puppet before ...
not for now ...
you are playing me ...
playing a friend ...
a friend that really care of you ..
how about you ?
always is using me ... you will only find me when you are alone
that's call friend ?
at least now i realize what person you are ...


Even i always missing the old time
But it will not come back ..
eyes is looking forward not backward
so we can only look on future ...
Find back the old time in future .
thats what i hope ...

50 vs 9

叶文就话可以
一个打十个jeh
刚才我们给人打 = =
50 ++ 马来人
打我们一班9 个人
我们9 个都好伤
最伤是啊原
第二是我

我最古不到的事是
我第一次流鼻血竟然是给人打到的
打到流鼻血
还是真痛
还有我的嘴也给人打破了
阿城也一样
真要谢谢他啊
他帮我顶了一粒
够够力的
他手都一条痕了
那时我给人打到晕了
看东西都差不多黑色
而且呕
还有给人踢一脚
在肺部
那时真的以为自己会死
因为根本呼吸不到
然后直头整跪下
还好多以下就好了
那瞬间突然能想很多东西


然后最伤的阿原
他最惨了...
过来帮我们
还要弄到他那么伤
感觉很对不起他
他给人那些sakai 打到睡着
然后一直踢
我们过去帮 但是太多人了
然后就打打打
等到警察来了
他们也是照打
然后我们8 个华人就给人
带了回去警察局 ( 有一个回了家)
但是意想不到
他们只是带了两个不是很关事的回去
他妈的
那些有打我们的不带
特地要带那些没用的

skip ~~~ 在警察局里面的事不想讲

然后就拿ic 回家将

这件事
给我知道了
my 的警察是没用的
狗一条 thats all ..

Disapointed

disappointed ...
today exam add math ...
damn it
paper 1 and 2
i pass up
nearly blank paper
-_-

shit ..
gona go die
i feel i fail to myself
but i just try my best
i cant understand the question
some more
those formula i cant remember so much
i F up my addmath
zzz
vasanti sure gona say many ...

whoa ...

wake up from 8 am today
xD ...
i cant believe i did it
xD
no lar just becz yesterday
slp at 10 =D
hehehe ...
they call me go cc but i dint ^^
hahaha
just after go pm thn went back
home straight for bed =X
i dint think much
hahaha ...
i fall slp ver fast
just lie on bed
poof ... then i fall slp ald
xD hahaha
well ...
hmm hmm ...
monday gona go skul again
sienzz
zz
.... exam
moral ..
zz
i hate pn wu ... lc like shit ...
keep use her son dat us ... = (

hey ... where am i ??
you are in your dream , noob
what ?? i am not noob
you are a noob
i am not
now get out from here

( what i say about the dream is not real )

~~pofff ~~
Then i wake up
the first word i say from my mouth is
SHIT ...
because i know when i wake up on midnight
i can never sleep again...
but i try .. so i lying on the bed
until i feel thirsty and feel wan like to pee
so i just get up from my bed
do what i need to do first
then here i am =_= ...
computer again xD hahaha
very well ...
Zzz 4 am already ..
i am taking my time for my tomorrow english test
well ... the novel ... the pearl
i am scratching my head for that ...

well c tmr

Shappp

Zzz
i go cut hair just now because
i get caught when at school
( lucky teacher dint cut at that time)
he just call me go cut it
so i did
zzz

ver funny is ...
now my hairstyle is not much different from
cut by teacher =_= ...
when i said ...
我要短一点点 （ 点点这个字我说得特别大声）
他说 ：哦 短拉
我说 ： 短 一点点
他说 ： 就是短拉

二话不说 shappp ... =.=
没了zzz ...
现在有少少怪 zzz
又短又怪
老鼠他啊
然后又要买那个死人pbsm 衫
zzz
我破产咯 =_=
haiz
考试还要留堂
zzz

SUNDAY - 21 / 3 / 10

last day of school holiday ..
well well well
just after holiday then got exam
crap ...
nice everybody going school tomorrow
but me ?
i going hospital
lucky is ... monday is exam for bc
~_~
well talk about today
start raining from 5 pm until now ...
when it start raining
i look outside of my window
its very big drop of rain water and sparsely
but after few min ... the view starting blur
and rain is dense
good enough for me this rain ....
hot weather is killing these day
good to have some rain ...
well
c u guys on tuesday

talk about Tuesday 1st ...
On the 1st and ... 2nd period ..
I ... "accidentally" skip class
sound crazy ?? or unbelievable ?
maybe becz wan be bad then skip class?
hell no ...
i wont do that ...
xD
But because the time table has change
And ... 1 of classmate duno time table
change aso ...
but !! but !! all of my classmate run so fast =.=
duno go where ...
so leave me and that india
crap ...
when go to class ...
no ppl ... thn
we 2 go library no ppl
funny huh ?
however
when we realise
our class is in physics lab ...
its all pass 1 period
oh crap ... LOL so we 2 decided
sit on class until they are back
..
hoho
thats how its happen
zz

I Like Bad boy ~ ...
This always come out from
Girl's heart ...
But i hate bad girl ..
Sry .. this is come from my blog
xD haha ..
However ... in my observation
from a few girls ( 4/5)
on this examination
the conclusion is .. yes ..
Girl usually like bad boy ..
ehh but i am talking about bad boy
such as sucking blood , eating human
stuck his feet in his nose , eating shit
drinking pee , farts until never stop
run on the road when naked , never wash hand
never use paper or water after toilet
eat panadol when flu , eat food with their feet etc ...
( example is maybe not for bad boy ) (err maybe not for the normal human )
however ... even u dun see on my example you will also knw what
bad boy is alike ...
But ... the bad boy that girls like is
not bad boy .. ( what the hell i am saying )
in fact ... i am mean the bad boy that girls like is
treat them (girls) bad . but i am not mean bad until slap them
on their faces .. but bad on kind of good ... == ..
y girls like bad boys actually very to explain
becz the word of " bad boy " at least knw how to joke
at least knw how to make up of emotion
knw how to care in another not boring way
this is all inside the physiology
but for the good boy .. you maybe can be success on chasing girl
but we cannot confirm at this time , over .. ( on war ? )
i mean that boys just treat girl good good care care and good care ..
that's gonna take long time or never .. xP ..
For me ? ohh .. ahaha ... dun joking ... i am dumb in chase girl
dun tell me i am good boy , i am not bad boy neither so
what i am ? THE HALF MAN ... ( not bat man ? )
zzz ... i believe that i am a joker ...
( the joker that not really knw how to joke)
I am honest guy ... hmm perhaps ?? zz
zz well i cant slp this night too xD


here i show you some video ...
funny ... make from the very famous guy in youtube
Nigahiga ... rmb watch it finish ..

Raining

Its raining ...
Maybe sky wan to describe my feelings now ...
Perhaps ... The sky know ...
Did i sleepy?? Did i ?
Honestly yes ..
Why still i still awake for ?
i don't really know ...
Anyway ... i go in bed same thing
i cant fall sleep
maybe this is the reason

These day ...
My body seems to be overloaded ...
Heartbeat very fast ...
Hardly breathing ...
sometimes barely can stand when i am going off from my bed
... Feel sick ...
and i cant slp well .. thats the point ...

Path ..

Talk about today 1st ..
well ..
i am weak these day ...
i keep need to slp .. always lying on the bed
but i hold my breath to get up for school
so i dint absent on monday to wednesday
however ...
today ... i dint do the same thing
cz i cant even can fall sleep ...
i felt really really tired ... but
cannot ...
when i fall sleep .. hmm i think is ald ..
around 4 pm ...
then ... wake up by my alarm ... on 5.30
zz damn it that time i ald decide i wont go school
... the fall slp again
wake up by seng again on 6.45
he call me LOLzz
zzz ... thn by my mom ...
LOL ... i think is about 7 or 8 ...
cz i barely can see the sunlight on my window ...
( cant even have a good sleep huh ?? )
on about 11.30 i wake up ... still damn sleepy ...
i still laying on bed until 12 ++ ...
when i walk i feel ver dizzy dizzy dizzy ...
this is the reason i dunwan go skul
xD



Every have their own path , own way , own choice
So we can't force everyone to do anything we wan ...
So ... we reject anybody ...
but could u just use another reason for reject me ?
u use 1 damn cant believable shit reason
u guys knw what ??? she said Hot ... thats all ... if u said tired
come on i still can accept ... and i wont angry as much i have now ...
then u still ask me " angry " ?
If you were me ? how the hell u will think ?
last time i even gv what necessary reason
u still angry ... how if u were me ???

Damn the night ..

night falls ...
time to slp huh ?
yep i did slpt
but ...
i wake up at 1.30
so i opn my pc ...
however
at night is making my mind became
"Unstable"

ver funny rite ?
Keep thinking the past
lol ... crap
and i see on phone
old msg ... pic
anything
... what to tell ya ?
feel sad ...
i duno why
but ...
regret is ver damn ...
...
dun regret as i do .

Hell yea ...

The 1st good news when i at school is ?
Khirudin .. has change school
LOL ....

psps ... actually for u guys maybe not
for me ... xD hehe
my moral project can put aside
for 1st xD ...

But the bad thing on today
is ... Homework ... and homework
is only i got
LOLzz
addmath ... i hate vasanti ... LOLzzz
then chemistry project =.=...
much and much ...

Most Happy Day Ever in CNY

Wednesday ... 17 / 2 / 2010
( for 1st ... sry to 1 of my friend ... )
i wake up very very early
at 7 am ...
but guess when i sleep ?
i think 3 something XD
lucky my kidney still there
haven't break
when i walk out of my room ...
i feel very sleepy and dizzy ...
and what i saw is ...
my cousin ald sit in front of my pc ... ==
lol ...
so fast and early ...
well well well ...
about 11 am ..
the 1 thing i never expect is ...
full of my friend come and find me
lol ... for sure .. take ang pau lol
..
many of them ... some how ...
10 plus
=.= ... at first ...
all not dare to come in LOL
what the ... but them came in also ...
lol ... funny thing is
ah man straight sit in front of PC
haha ... thn Kar Yan ask him
hou hou yi si hor ...come in straight use ah thien pc
thn ah man ans she said
i never touch computer before ma ... =_= ....
gv him bom dou gao gao ...

they sit awhile ...
thn go kar yan house ... lol
they all go ... without me ... (means no wait me )
= =||
luckily they still got wait me on g floor
then all go eat and yam cha
then go
kar yan house ~~
girl so nice1 .
kam heng fetch they all
i tot i wan kam heng fetch aso d =.=
full lol ...
cz no nid use $ ma ..if not take taxi so exp
actually i dint use $ on taxi aso lol ...
1st time go kar yan house ah man gv ...
i said ah man u gv 1st...
lol until now i havent gv him back yet
soon i have to belanja he yam cha
thn all go kar yan house
play black jack ... lol ... go ppl house play card =.=
how the hell ...
and hor ... kar yan de family so nice
especially her mother hahaha
so funny 1
=.= ... judi is not good for heath = = ...
cz what ... i lost 20 ++ at there
and 30 + at cousin there
+++ another 1
is exp =.=
white white gone xD
but lose like that is happy
happy lose ~_~

after kar yan house
we all go Elain house ..
whooah .. when we at there
boys all shocked lol ... ( cz most of the girl go her house be4)
quite big house
well ...
that day ngam ngam Elaine's relative
came to her house
so ... we go her room ...
when at her LOL
shame to say ...
xD hahaha
tell u later
well .. we at joke
and joke
but joke
LOL
laugh ... is the all ...
most of my friends is joker ...
so i knw to joke too ( abit lar ... i hope so =.= tell me if i am not )
but is that good to be joker ?
makes people happy and laugh
but how if we joke in wrong sentence or timing
1 of my fren said i am ... but .. is that so ?
ok then stop tis =.=

Joke and play card
this where i am shame to say
LOL
tell u guys
DO NOT
so confidence on winning
when we are playing card
i said that if who lose who gona act like snake
crawl from the room to outside
hahahaha
well ..
you guys can guess ... i lose =.= LOL
which means i going to be snake ....
yep ... =.= video also got
i put that to u guys later ( remember to remind me )
if u wan to c early
u can c on my phone or seng , ah man , elain , mei kei and mei teng
shame to say ...

the happiest day in cny ...

VANX
( alot of small part in this event is missing
because i cant write all =.= too complicated ...)

Start Cny

Muahaha...
well well well ...
i start my cny vacation early
start today xDD
i hope i will not receive the surat by the way
Xixiii

@@ ...
hmm ... so c you guys after cny xD ...
1 1/2 week
lol math ?
xD ...
...

miss me yarxx
i sure miss you guys 1 ...
1 week ++ wor ..
song long o ...
ahaha ...
end


VAnx

Say？

Say ... said or says ?
Or yell ? lol ...
I cant describe my feelings now ..
however
its difficult to say ... or to be says
or even to understand
what the crap i am talking ?

Its like a boulder crash on my heart
It more like the feel get ignore than get
hurt ..
Where is my right ???
because all the damn crap ppl
ignore me
fuk ...
some times i hope i can say fuck them
great ... i go alone school today ...
ask why ? funny
i get ignore by my fucking fren .. great
..
good take for me huh？

Walking alone on the street
No purpose
None stop ...
Didn't feel tired
Looking around
Couple , Old married , Family
That what i found
Think ...
Did i have ?

Street light starting to be on
Its getting late ...
But still walking
Like a soulless body
Walking dead

Looking At the Bench
Reminds me that painful memory
Always sitting at there alone
Out of friend , Out of my mind
Always ...
Same thing different day

Factory .... i realise far enough i walk
i stopped ... think .. Factory
Wheres the people work for
For money , For living
For suffering ...

Everyday like hell
While i still walking on earth
Still stepping on the ground
Because you are gone
The day you leave me
You said that i must keep going
For you ... but without you
World more like hell i ever been ...

Few water drop on my face
Crying ? No ... Cried much enough
While You leave me alone for suffering
It just raining ...
People is running for their way home ...
But i still walking slowly to find my scar
And headed way home

Reached ...
sound the dropping water
but not from outside
but from my cloth
Take of them ...
Go for bed
same suffer day
when it going last ?


Create by
Vanx Chew

[ does matter to you if you lost the 1 most love ?]
[wound may heal .. but scar will left ... that will remind the pain ]

lol ... funny

This what i found lol ...
Funny
hahaha
but ...
got abit disgusting ... haha
i recommence u watch it

... ah crap.

sick ...
sickness are dragging me to hell
f...
flu for 1st
and nose stuck is let me cant breath
zz...
how the hell
and
cough ... most killing machine to me
when i cough ...
my wound so pain ...
damn .. damn


sicking
vanx

（我尽量写完所有我记得的细节）

tuesday - 夜晚 8 点 20 / 01 / 2010
前两天一直觉得
肚子痛 走路的时候也痛
所以就跟妈妈去诊所 看看
怎知道 check 完了
那个医生说 是 nga nga 肠wor
就叫我最好进院
要不然等下那个东西
破了就大锅
所以11 点多
家人就带我去 PPUM （马大）
pusat perubatan university malaya
hehe 他们不敢带我到 HUKM
你们都知道咯 那里的医生
= = 都不用我多说啦

wednesday - 12。00am 21 / 01 / 10
去到了那边
一下车我就跟自己说
i hate hospital ...
然后进到去
又要等 等等= =
到了我了
然后问些东西
又去另一个HALL
等= =
又等然后到我了
帮我量血压和温度
然后出去
又等过 = =
但是。。。 等是应该拉
因为很多人 == 不懂作么
晚上了还那么多人
然后又到我了
这是已经2点多
然后给真正的医生看我
然后帮我检查
说很多废话
然后帮我插那个吊水的针
弄到我很痛又不舒服
而且他有d 没脑
他插在我手的弯位
弄到我的手不可以弯
妈的
过后帮我吊水
那里很冷差点把我冻僵
而且吊着水
弄到我整只右手像冰条
冰冰冷冷
第一包水吊了一个钟
就没了然后换另一包
就吊到早上了
还有一直要等一个手术医生来
等到我5 点
最难为我爸妈
在那里陪我到5 点
然后那个医生果然来了
然后问埋 一大堆一样的问题
6 点了我就叫我家人回了
之后那班护士
弄我进 observation wad
那包水还在滴
到8 点就帮我换另一包了
进了wad 妈的 更睡不着
因为左边的india uncle 很吵
我也知道他很痛 但是= = 未免太大声了吧
他一直在那边 aduh ... aduh ... ahhh ...
他是糖尿病弄到了
还有我右边的anty 也是一样
anty 就切了整条腿 uncle
是切了未脚趾
所以不要吃那么甜哦= =
我也有点怕怕了
那个uncle 有跟我讲啊
他糖尿病是以前弄到的
他年轻时一天7 ， 8 罐cola
不中都假拉


我就辛苦咯 吃又没得吃
我一定要puasa == 到我after operate 才可以
wasai ... 那时我看他们吃饭我多饿阿 ==
几惨啊 。。。 我算过 我足足24 h 没吃过东西啊
也没喝过水 hehe 但是我不会全身没力
因为有吊水嘛 他们给我吊的是5 % glucose ( 葡萄糖 [ energy ] )
或者是0.9% sodium chloride ( salt )
zzz ...
我怎样会知？？
简单因为我在床位没东西做
不是睡就是周围望
然后给我望到那包水
刚刚我又有读chemistry ... 赫赫
。。。
没得冲凉整身suk =.=
够力
还好的是 我没出汗
有冷气嘛
最痛苦的是我的右手TT ..
现在想回都痛 ...
又没得动
动就痛
还有去厕所又要拿着那包水去
辛苦到死 ...
然后下午的时候
去照X - rays 。。
看我的nga nga intestine 在那里哈哈
之后等等等 闷闷闷
到晚上 12点多 我睡着了
然后给人叫醒
我还蒙cha cha ...
原来是护士叫我换衣服
换那些病人衣服 ...
哇 那些味道够力 ...
不懂有没有洗过的叻？
然后他就叫我睡上他推过来的床
然后还要等
等等　才把我推去　等做手术的地方
我最记得那个情景
把握推进ｌｉｆｔ　．．．　
之后又推去另一座楼＝＝　
然后到了
又因为一样东西没签到名
又要等我爸妈来
又等= =
我最记得的是他帮我脱裤
但是！！！！
不要吓到先
他没看到的
有一张被盖着我 = =
然后什么都搞tim 了
就真真的推我进手术室
娃哈哈啊啊
还没到已经觉得很冷了
进到去手术室冷到冰库酱
然后他就帮我打麻醉针
还要我一直吸oxygen
越吸越晕 开始看东西模糊
然后就没知觉
过后知道的是他叫醒我
然后问我痛吗？
哇老 那时痛到我拿命 ...
我就说痛痛痛 ...
他就帮我打多一支 maffin (止痛针）
但是还是痛
他就说不可以打了
怕我呼吸不到

奇怪的是 他把握推到去病房我一点记忆都没有
记得的是到了病房他叫我换床罢了
然后又是黑色一片
到了早上医生叫我起身
然后bla bla 又问一大堆也
跟我说you must walk around ah ...
u cant just lying at bed ...
妈的 真想shoot 他一句
我捅你一刀你走给我看 ...
过后我想ehh 我怎么有穿裤子的？
不是脱了sei lo 给人看sid sai lo TT 哈哈

那时痛= =小便又辛苦
一直呕
吃什么呕什么
TT 呜呜
到了下午 换护士了
换了一个leng lui 华人护士
但是= = 有d kek 水的是
她讲东话有点kek
但是听她说马来话一流
= =

要吃晚餐的时候
一点胃口都没有... 看到都想呕 ....
但是那个护士一直叫我吃 ...
他说不要吃啊？？
那么吃饼干咯 我开给你
真的开给我 但是我吃了半片罢了
就想呕了
然后就什么都没吃了
哈哈 最搞笑的是我隔壁的malay uncle
哇 他吃到津津有味
连那个鸡骨都吮到干干净净
他还问我 tak makan ?
还好他没说tak makan ? bagi saya lah ...
那时我真的会给他炸到搞搞 ...

6 点多帮我换病房
他妈的换到远到ham ngam
还好给leng lui 护士推
但是真是辛苦
我的右手动弹不得
换到了一个冷到不要命的地方==
haiz 但是在那边18 小时将就出院了
赫赫 ...

最记得是那支针
插在我的手的
他帮我拔出来的时候
我还以为很短的（因为它插进去的时候我没有看）
怎知道一拔 waaa 吓我一跳
差不多5-6 cm 那么长 =.= ...
之后没什么了咯
就出院了

赫赫 你们猜猜看我第一时间回到家做什么？
你们肯定想不到. ...
是刷牙 .. ！！
哈哈哈
然后洗头抹身 ...


A PAINFUL MEMORY IN HOSPITAL

I VANX

sheeitt ..

i cant imagine it happen to me
tmr morning ...
u guys wont see me at school
i wont come ...
i am going to hospital ...
maybe =.=
the doctor said 90% need to do
operation ...
but i still believe that 10%
no need .... =D
u may ask what happen?
tell u then
me ... get wang nga 肠
i dun realy knw how to write = =
but u knw what i mean ?
ver shit ...
and t he doctor said
that shit is hide behind my intestine ..
hard to operate so ...
i going f ....
and i going to said 3 days ... in hospital ...
that is realy realy realy fck up ...
if the doctor operate me
and leave some cotton inside me
LOL ... if this happen
i going say bye bye ...

well ... nvm .. laugh more 1st
wahahaha

painful
VanXCheW

damn ..

这半个月来= =
我的 modem 死猛断线
gek 死 但是现在好了点
=D ...
call 了上去 100
然后又叫你按什么什么
tekan 1 untuk bhs malaysia
press 2 for English
damn= =
i hate this kind of shit

但是还好
那个跟我同电话的
还蛮礼貌的
他叫我等 每次然后等完了
他就会说 terima kasih kerana tunggu
呵呵 =。=
本来想吵下geh
他那么礼貌我都不想了
哈哈 ...

我还记得上一次
弄到我sibeh dulan
我都忘记了他说什么
就是弄到dulan 就是= =
呵呵
现在不会断线（暂时？）
哈哈 有点开心
因为没有好好打blog 了
(你打的咩？这样说好讽刺)

还有

我要sapu fei zai

muahahahaha


VanXCheW

School @@

hmm ... today
haha ...
i finally saw chiew yee
new hair style = =
psps ..
now no jor mushroom head jor lo
cannot call u mushroom jor
=X
feel a bit weird
maybe dint c u clip ur hair be4 @@
but ... still cute @@
much cute than be4 =D
so dun say urself sorpoor
hahaha ...


hmm ..
Home sweet home ...
back home .. and face alot of homework
especially add math ...
i know practice make perfect ...
but =_= ... isn't too much for us ?
that vasanti gave our class for much she can give
i even nid 7 - 8 page to finish all of it =_= ...
each time ...
not just once ...
=_= ... ... .. .. .......
that's going kill me TT ....

well well well ...
perhaps u guys u think i am a
fucking fucking fake guy ..
like someone said ? =D
i wont angry if u scold me this ..
yea perhaps i am ?
because ... believe in myself ...
is better that how ppl c me
^^
and i love you guys mwask ..


How was Going on ?
VanX

realiaze

i ... realiaze more thing ..

前几天跟爸爸吃午餐
那时.. 我才认真地看看我爸爸
好久没认真看他了
那么一看他
原来发觉... 他瘦了
有时不喜欢他那样这样的
这时却感觉怪怪
怎么了？
好像心有点痛了
其实他能把我养大
没有突然的离开我们
他已经很伟大了
对吧？
哈 ...
现在却发现我很笨..

还有friends ?
i feel much realiaze
but actually is making me much confuse ...
who is real who is fake ?
who knws ? neither than i ...

hehe... and how about love ?
aha .. duno =P

Confusing Or Clearly ?
VanX

Life...

星期5 。。 雨...

zz 顶我在写日记？
上面的东西写爽的拉
那天没去到学校
在家睡到11 点
然后起来
没东西吃= =
算咯。。 打算捱下
等老爸回来
以为它有打包
怎知到头来是我打包回给他
还要我出钱

中午就跟他们一班去吃饭
然后还要打包给老爸
吃了打包了
回到家给了食物
然后再跟他们去打机
会不会有点乏味？
但是回的时候
我们吃着回
吃了玉蜀 在吃guava
然后又他们又吃pudu mayam = =
晚上 我们去游夜水
7点去 9 点回
唉够力累 明天还有做功
喝茶也免了


然后今天
什么天气就不知道啦= =
整天在shopping complex 里面
要听外面的东西都难
但是今天
却有点意思
原来我发觉
父亲是蛮伟大的
孩子要什么 爸爸都给他
今天我看到一个
小孩子选糖果
哈哈 他好可爱的
但是他又不会整盘拿走
他慢慢选了两支棒棒糖
然后他爸爸好像怕他不够
又买多另一样给他
但是虽然这些动作
可能会不起眼
但是仔细想下想下
父亲还不是为了孩子？

还有 我的同事
他18岁就结婚了
女儿现在都两岁了
不好的事 他离婚了
但是怎样都好
他还是很爱他女儿
他女儿在马六甲
他在kl 都会找空会去
帮她买新衣新鞋
多忙也会打个电话
他说这个拜一就回去看他女儿了

但是。。。 我却觉得
我像没有一个伟大的爸爸
详情 不想多说啦
但是能怨么？
不
天给你的吗 能怨什么
虽然他没对伟大过
还是养大了我
恩也一定会报
但是 优势却觉得
很失望...


朋友
朋友是什么？
有朋友为了什么？
有个朋友对我说...
朋友只是为了
互相利用
然后我跟他说
是帮忙 不是利用
他答我
好听点 就是帮忙
不好听呢？
就是利用

现在我越来越觉得
他说得对！
朋友不是为了利用
为了什么？
如果你没有利用价值了
你还是朋友吗？
因为我刚刚才体会到
这种感觉
你没有价值了
你有什么重要？ 需要理你死活吗？
当然的 不需要...

但是
最终的我还是坚信
一定会有一个真正的朋友
不是为了利用你而存在
我还相信

vER tired ... go slp 1st bye bay

sleeping
VanX

GOOD DAY ???

funny for today ...
i sudden feel i like add math ..
LOL ...
how the hell tis happen ...
=_= ...
maybe tis feel oni will continue for few days =D
hahhahas

at tonight =X
i COOK ...
For my family lolz....
its NICE
perfect ...

突然觉得我很有天分
娃哈哈哈
算咯 还有一直有人笑我
能不能的哦你


thats all

Failure Is My Life
VanX CheW

piG ...

today ... nicely to tell ...
= =
good day huh ?
still ok for me ...

一早起来就下雨==
根本不想起床
在床像条虫lan 下lan 下
还是要醒。。
今天有点搞笑
因为ah boy 跟我一起去学校时
滑倒
他一直说很痛很痛
我当然知道=。=
不要说他怎样跌
跌倒很惨了 好要笑他咩
然后他又给人捉叻
够倒霉 说rambut fashion wor ...
=.=

今天够力了拉
第一天就有addmath 做
=。= 真想大喊 addmath ruined my life ...
hahhaha ... 有没有那么严重= =
就这样

Deep Wound in heart
VanX .

ah... ha

很多人都说开学开学
我再讲的话就很boring 了。。
所以
这个话题
CHIA .. cut 掉

psps ...
本来很多照片
要放上来= =
然后card reader 又有问题了
=.= ... sheeiit ...
跟你们说哦= =
我生日吃了两次蛋糕
哈哈哈
一个我哥买给我的
另一个我的brother 们
买给我
虽然。。
那天真的不开心
但是不是在晚上
晚上最开心了
两个蛋糕吃lol ..
那天连我搬出去的大哥也有回来呢
XD
还有有些人
promise = no promise
我现在都废事理
就是不要在跟我说什么可以可以
我真的讨厌了
也不要弄到我真的不爽

明天见 ^^


VanX