nor

finally got my promotion last week
chasing this for god knows how long
come to think of it, not even sure if I'm actually chasing it.
yet the joy of getting it kind of faded away in just couple of days
what leftover now is 3 times works I receive compare than before.
and tiredness
not really complaining, not the age I should complain yet

all these lately it reminded me of a certain person
a middle age lady back when i work in Shell
and unfortunately she passed last year.
she is very well spoken, elegant, well-behaved and kind
and I respect her a lot, like a kakak to me.
I never have the chance to see her after I left, because she left the company too not longer after me.
and no one knows she was sick until she passed, even those are closed to her in the company.

why my promotion reminded me of her?
because on my farewell lunch back then she actually ask me what the new job I got.
and I told her I'm becoming a team lead for a certain project.
i still remember her face lit up, smile and tell me
"I knew that you are going to be someone that lead people, work at the top guy"
in these words I can hear that she is feeling proud for me.
that feelings of getting approved, recognized. and these words are the few that kept me going

it's a shame that i dint have chance to say goodbye.
so live up your life, to yourselves and to others
so that when you face death, the last thoughts shall not be shame nor regrets