眼泪

最近一个好朋友（1）分了手
好几年的感情
近几天 都特意的过去看看
每个人对待分手的方式也不一样
所以看下他（1）要死了没
是因为是很好的朋友才这样说

我经历过另外一位朋友（2）的breakup
他（2）真的是要生要死天崩地裂海枯石烂
eh 等等，好像用错成语了
那时候我们整班朋友还真的给他折腾了几个月
也是因为是好朋友才愿意给他折腾

好这位（2）朋友先不说
说回（1）

见到他时感觉他就在崩溃的边缘
听着他细说着那过程,原因,后果
每一次他回忆起某些与前女友的细节
虽说没看到眼泪，但是他眼神与那颤抖的嘴唇
强忍着不哭的他 看到也蛮可怜
当然因为在外面餐厅，如果在没人地方 他应该都会放声大哭
他们分手原因与理由，谁对谁错，与我无关
我也只是个旁观者，我可以不喜欢不赞成谁或谁的做法
但是朋友也只能陪着，那些大众意见我都没给
因为谁不是会说一样的话？
那些话都很无畏

哎 人生啊 

Physically unable

First day of combat group gym reopen
only myself, another senior and my master
So what will happen when this few people?
Extra goddamn training.
Well luckily this time he actually let us off.
not as harsh because just reopened.
My back kinda gave up.
Because i tried a tornado kick few days ago
Have to admit i realllyyy getting old.
This might offense a lot of people but err. comparing what i use too really way too different
Also with 3 months of rest my shin seriously became tofu
each kick into the bags it hurt so much.
Have to stop time to time just let the pain to cold off.

And now i just so freaking tired writing this
wanted to sleep but can't because i just ate
have to let the food digest a little first
I might actually fall asleep typing this
But still. so much has changed since this pandemic
even now the gym can't have contact and just hit the bag
do some exercise.
most importantly i can't spar !!!!
The most fun things to do.

screw it..
going to bed

Cat > rat > boxing

Its been a while since i have hit some bag or pads.
finally have the heart to go open the gym and hit some, but the gym's stairs get taken by a cat
the cat has been hunting bird and rat to have dinner there.
This time the cat ate half the rat and left half of it rot there.
right in front of the gym door.
When i saw that i was spit out unconsciously "fucking hell" and most important when i open the door
It jam the door because it stuck at the gap between the door and the floor.
witnessing this make me just want to leave the place and pretend i never come here.
So took me quite sometime to have it clean up and sprayed dettol all over the stairs case.
but the smell kinda remain until i chuck it into the big trash bin outside.

Well... at least i did hit a while on the bags today.
Sometimes i record myself train when i train alone, just to see if i making some mistake.
time to time wanted to post on insta or fb story,
but what stopping me is that my master is following me on it.
probably when i upload it he will judge and says something like:
why is that kick so low
your hand drop! keep your hands up,
stance not wide not stable.
bend your knee don't straighten it

today i dint even bother to put on my lens, because it just wasteful.
pff, so well, here some of it

well first of all its a very half ass hitting, and look at 0.47, when I dint hit bags for too long and i felt the pain on my shin. then i stop and rub it. it was funny, because last time wouldn't felt anything unless i hit someone's elbow or knee. 

2nd recording.

0.42 did a kinda fail "question mark kick", it will looks better if initial faint kick raise higher.
0.48-did a pretty good in out in then following combo. but overall my hands drop too low
should have keep it at head level.
1.03- i tried some boxing skill its call "philly shell" just for awhile then i straight out gave up
because i executed it very bad.
although this skill is essential in boxing but in kick boxing or muaythai its not too useful because they can low kick you while you doing your head movement.

well.. i dint film much after these 2 videos i just keep hitting the bag for around 30 mins.
just to refresh my skill a little before the class reopen.

Maquia - When The Promised Flower Blooms (朝花夕誓——于离别之朝束起约定之花)

Don't be fool by the cover page above, its not another story or films that is about some teenager love story, but instead a mother and son.

I come across this animation films by totally accident, saw a short video about it on my YouTube recommendation section, got curious and look for it.

To my surprise is, this is a very good film with very fine animation details too. But however it receive little attention, their box office grossing is only less than 5 millions. Oh did i mention, this film received 100% rating from Rotten Tomatoes.

Im just going to give a very very brief plot at the starts, so that you can know what will happen while not spoiled if you decided to watch it: 

Maquia's race is called Iorph, and being dubbed as "the Clan of the Separated". They age very slowly compare to human and their looks stay young even for hundreds of years. Then 1 night soldiers of Mezarte riding their ancient flying wyverns called Renato and invade their village. Killing most of them and kidnapped Maquia's best friend Leilia, while Maquia due to one of the wyvern went berserk and left the village with Maquia on it then succumbs to the "red eye" sickness and die in a forest, after Maquia wakes up she found herself in an abandon camp that were just attacked by bandits, an infant was in a deceased mother arm, and Maquia adopted the infant named him Ariel and live in a nearby village. (in this time Maquia actual age is only 15 by humans years)

Ok im going stop with the plot here, while in between tons of things happen, like a war broke out and Ariel grow up realize that his mother is more or less immortal. 

and the ending you can guess, an immortal with a human child, how would that end? its bitter sweet  thou, but more like 99 % bitter.

So after watching this, reminded myself a question i used to ask myself a lot, what if im immortal or can live few thousands years? 

For me immortality is a cursed, not a gift. the only reason i want to be immortal is i wanted to see how far human can go, currently this generation is too late to see technology blooms, and too early for space travel.

While being immortal and just to see your loved one leave one by one and yet you stayed. 

Everyone is afraid of death, so do I, but im much more afraid being left alone.  

Weathering With You 天気の子(Tenki no Ko) - MakotoShinkai

During these lockdown time I have taken my time to re-watch 君の名は Your Name (Kimi No Na Wa) and wanted to write something about Makoto Shinkai latest works - 天気の子 Weathering With You (Tenki No Ko) which watched last year. Im no critics or rotten tomatoes sort, I just simply want to write down what i think of these films plus if you are reading this i am assumed that you have watch them both and know the plot. If somehow you have not watch them both, please spoilers alert, although not going to discuss a lot of plot details, but still.. spoiler alert.

君の名は Your Name is the number one grossing animation film in the world which it came out on 2016, best works of Makoto Shinkai and Your Name has brought a lot of attention to him, and when his new film comes out - Weathering with You a lot of people is comparing his latest works with Your Name, like he has created a best film how can he topped it off. while some people is actually disappointed that din't meet the level of Your Name, but for me i think its kind of unfair, both are definitely great films, its just like comparing your who is your favorite child, of course you might have one, but you definitely love them both.

Stories climax on Weathering With You is indeed slower than Your Name, where it happen almost at the end of the film where Hina(female protagonist) disappear and Hodaka(male protagonist) is looking for her through the shrine on top the building. Your Name climax point on other hand is at the middle of the film. Perhaps this is why some people dislike it because it has a slower development compare to Your Name. While it has the slower pace but for me, to see the Hodaka's character development that trying to find his place or himself in an unfamiliar city while develop his relationship with Hina and others is indeed a good sight to see. But overall, comparing to Your Name, Weathering with you have a much straight forward storyline, unlike Your Name where it has tons of "cipher" moment where you have to think why it happens, like the explanation of "誰そ彼" (Tasokare) the twilight time where you might see something you usually don't or the "結び" where it describe as how time is entangle, twisted all together. While Weathering with You has the very similar theme set, like shrine, god, blessing of god. Although it has a plainer story line but the character development is really great, especially it heavily indicate how much you can fight for love, like how Hodaka do all the things necessary to bring back Hina, of course Your Name has all these element as well, but its not as heavily shows than in Weathering with You, you would definitely know what i am talking about especially at the ending of the film. 

To sacrifice one to save millions, but what if the sacrifice is your loved one? Just like how Hodaka statement he made to Hina while they falling from the sky "Who cares if we don't see the sunshine again? i want you more than any blue sky, the weather can stay crazy" simply saying fuck the rest of the world, i only want you. See how a 16 years old is so much braver than a lot of adults when fight for their love, i know its  fiction but still...

Visual

Don't doubt it, its Makoto Shinkai's works, the visual is STUNNING just like his previous works. He really likes to animate rain, like in most his previous works sure that is a rain screen like, The Garden of Words, Your Name etc, and of course Weathering with You whole plot is about rain. All these details from rain drops, bubbles, the reflection of the puddle, food details, ray of lights, fireworks, and more have been animated to best details as possible, sharp and almost perfectly real. 

Music

Again, all of the music including the 5 vocal songs is all composed by Radwimps like previously in Your Name, but this time they are featuring a lady singer Toko Miura, singing 2 of the 5 vocal song. 

For me personally, songs for Weathering with You has more feel and fuse better with the movie with the lyrics almost like an explanation to the movie itself, but don't get me wrong, i really really like the songs in Your Name. 

Like the song "We'll be alright" playing in the end for their reunion, the lyrics the melody, fit right in, or at where they are falling from the sky and "Grand Escape" is playing, my god it gave me chills.

For the ending song Radwimps composed this after reading the scripts and present Makoto Shinkai this song "is that anything that love can do", in Weathering with You, this will be my favorite song, but in both of the films, my favorite still is "Nandemonaiya" ending song from Your Name.

I read a comment previously which fitly describe both Your Name and Weathering with you.

He said

"Your Name is finding love in fate

And Weathering with You is fighting fate for love"

While this post only saying these 2 films, but i do recommend you watch his other works, the very first Makoto Shinkai's works i watch was "The place promised in our early days" and second will be "5 centimetre per second", and for "5 centimetre per second" if you have a soft heart dont watch it, it just have too much heart piercing moment and ending. its a definitely an awesomely good film but i hate it, because its too real and sad. From all his works exclude the Your Name and Weathering with You, the one i like the most will be "星を追う子ども" literal translation will be the "children who chase stars" but in English films title has changed to "Children Who Chase Lost Voices" not sure why they did that, well if you have time you definitely should check this films, it interpret death, and good music especially the ending song "Hello goodbye and Hello" might make you shed tears. Good storyline. But for this into details maybe another time

PS:

I did not proof read or re-read the whole post, so any mistake please forgive me

Ended

Finally MCO is consider ended, but still tons of restriction,

Tomorrow finally going back to work.

What have i learned during all these free times? nothing much

Since works still coming remotely, plus when working from home,

Make peoples have no regards of time and day, hence they look for you anytime anyday.

But still at least at home some of the time did help for me to finished up my assignment as well as exam.

Talk about assignment, new sems is starting, even its part time still take a quite hard toll on me.

Also still a month of disciplined workout was the least i did.

Gym still cant open yet, hence cant play thai boxing for awhile.

Times flies really.

a month passed. and what did I accomplished

In this cauldron fashioned from delusion, with the sun as fire and day and night as kindling wood, the months and seasons as the ladle for stirring, Time cooks all beings: this is the simple truth.” — Mahabharata

I saw this quote from net, Mahabharata is an epics from ancient india.

It spoke a frightening truth, come to think of it, im getting old, another 3 years im going step into 30s,

It make me question how far i have gotten in my life, how far i have chased my dream,

How much effort did i make, or did i just slack the whole 27 years of my life.

Did i slacked? i guess no, did gave every effort then? guess no too .. 半々だけ

Grass

It's just myself talking to myself about myself,
Thomas Shelby - Peaky blinders

The quote from a drama i like,
Pretty much sums up what i wrote in here too,
if you know me don't bother asking why or what i wrote,
what i wrote here stays here.
Will talk when i feels like to.

Anyhow, shaved my hair few days ago never got to post on social media
Guess i will post here.
mehh, because it doesn't looks any different anyway,
Because i dint cut the middle parts where the "Grass" is growing,
not cutting it because i dint want it become unsalvageable
At least the middle part i can just wax it up or tie it up so it doesnt looks messy.
but the side and back how about, looks shit. so i shaved it,
it wasnt as crooked as i thought it would, turns out looks pretty good too.